Avoiding the Tiger Woods Trap!

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We are at the time of year where many of us are thinking about our goals and aspirations for the New Year.

Whether you love New Year’s Resolutions and hard core goal-setting or you like to allow life to unfold as you co-construct with the moment, one thing is assured; those who take time to mark, measure and reflect on who they are being, how they are living, and expressing their life, will be more likely to sustain success. And more likely to experience a renewable source of fulfillment while also staying true to themselves.

Often forgotten in the pursuit of a goal, success does not equal fulfillment. Just ask anybody who has achieved it. Success does not make you a better person – or a more evolved being – and certainly does not assure you to be a greater friend, partner, parent or leader.

Rushing with the surging pace of activity that often accompanies us is the adrenalin and distraction of seeming success. With such a pulse in our body we can unconsciously move moment-to-moment, week-to-week and year-to-year without stopping, nor reviewing or measuring how effectively we are marking up to our core values, life principals and basic ideals.

While we are unlikely to know much about Tiger Wood’s personal process, I wonder since his father’s passing, how and with whom he has been assessing his ideals and reviewing his choices and behaviours?

While most people have been disheartened and disappointed by Tiger’s actions, he is not necessarily dissimilar to ourselves.

When was the last time you took some solid time, focus and space to review your relationship to yourself, your values and how you are living up to your ideals? How out of sync and to what degree are you betraying yourself and what you agreed to? How far has it got for you? And who have you hurt and disrespected in this timeframe?

Before you forge into the New Year, pursuing your greatest aspirations or simply attempting to survive a tumultuous time, I encourage you to take one full day (at least) to review this last year, your last 5 years, and your last 10 years. Take the time to reflect and evaluate who and how you are being and how effectively you are living up to your ideals.

Of course, you do not have wait for year-end for such a life inventory and review of how and who you are being. At any time during the year you may prosper from this process and most certainly before any major life decisions, goal setting or visioning process.

20-20 Vision – Questions for self-reflection and exploration

1 What did I discover and learn about myself in the last year?
2. How am I different from last year, five years, and ten years?
3. How am I the same (what have I maintained) about myself in the last year, five years, and ten years?
4. What do I value this year that I have not before now?
5. What do I no longer value that I once did?
6. What do I believe and now understand about myself and my life, family, health, love, spirituality, money and work-business?
7. What do I no longer believe about myself, my life, family, health, love, spirituality, money and work-business?
8. What are my core values? (list these)
9. How well have I lived and expressed these values this last year? (find examples – or not – for each value)
10. What actions and choices am I proud of this year?
11. What actions and choices do I regret this year?
12. What do I feel is unresolved in my life?
13. How do I feel about what is unresolved? Is this okay?
14. What have I been unable to accept?
15. Based on 12, 13 and 14 what do I feel I need to resolve, accept or let go of?
16. What did I stop, this last year?
17. What did I start, this last year?
18. What did I maintain, this last year?
19. As I review all of my answers to these questions what do I learn? What does it mean? What opens up to me about myself?
20. What changes and/or developments do I wish to specifically make about my life and myself?

 

May this next year of your life be your best year yet!  May you experience more momentum, a source of fulfillment and maintain your integrity to yourself and others.

Image © AP Photo/Wilfredo Lee

Michelle Duval

As a coach, speaker and writer, Michelle Duval is as a pioneer into new forms of learning. She helped found the field of professional coaching in Australia in 1997 and became a leading voice, forging developmental and transformational coaching worldwide. She has co-authored two international handbooks on coaching, developed coaching psychology models used by professional coaches globally, and trained and certified executive, business and personal coaches in more than 35 countries. Michelle is the founder of Equilibrio, Actualise Daily, Excelerate Coach Mentoring and Fingeprint4Success. Michelle’s personal specialty as a coach is working with entrepreneurs, thought leaders, CEOs, and creative artists such as writers, producers, and actors. As a researcher Michelle led a world first study into the attitudes and motivations of Australia's most successful entreprenuers. Birthed out of her own personal experience with an aggressive life threatening brain disease, Michelle's personal cause and mission is working with otherwise 'incurable' diseases by developing advanced coaching methodologies and the latest discoveries in neuroscience to facilitate well-being and even complete recovery.

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