At a Loss?

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As we find ourselves in the last few weeks of Autumn the hustle and bustle to get ready for Winter accelerates. Time seems shorter to do what we “have to do”, there seems more to do than we thought. The Autumnal colours become brighter and more brilliant before they fall and we have a need to create ‘bursts of colour’ in our lives either literally or in Celebration with family and friends enjoying the last of the seasonal warmth.
Also at this time the swell of the last wave of a Life Review gathers momentum and feelings of grief and guilt can surface. A feeling of loss of Self, overwhelming grief at the loss of friendships, relationships, loved ones, even lost opportunities can become overwhelming until they are released.

In Western society much is done to gloss over Grief and much is misunderstood. A friend in Grief can tap into our own unresolved grief and our fear of dying one day. So we distance ourselves to prevent feeling our own pain.

For instance, for the first 6 weeks after a Loss, such as death of a loved one, a relationship, a job or something special, the brain signals to supply hormones that help you ‘get on with life’ …arrange the funeral, sort the paperwork, pay the bills, cook, clean, etc.

After 6 weeks the hormone supply stops and we begin to feel the real affects of the Loss…the sadness , anger, the denial, the pain. And this is usually the time that the casseroles and friends checking in stop. Just when we need them.

Expert and author of Life Lessons, and On Death and Dying Elisabeth Kubler- Ross discovered that Grief has stages that are non-sequential…they come up randomly, without an order to them and often without notice, even years after the event.

Guilt can ride on the back of grief…feelings of not doing enough, unresolved and incomplete business, even guilt at enjoying Life.

So if Grief and Guilt are coming up for you now it is important to remember this is a part of the seasonal opportunity to ‘clean up’ and let go of what is holding you back from LIVING your Life.

Autumn is also the time for lung and large intestine to ‘release’ old beliefs feelings- specifically Grief and Guilt according to Chinese Medicine.

Sometimes the overwhelm is so great people feel nothing can be done to heal it, feel stuck and blocked and believe the heavy feelings need to be endured, that it is a ‘ just a part of Life’.

Nothing could be further from the truth. The Autumn brings with it the OPPORTUNITY to heal grief and guilt, so PLEASE seek help…and call or email me to help get you back into the Flow of LIVING.

Physical symptoms of Autumn may also become more prominent so you pay attention to them and do something about healing. Constipation, diarrhea or both? Short of breath, tightness in your chest, asthma increasing? Waking from 3am to 5am? It’s time to book an appointment so we can find the fears, habits and/or beliefs that are creating the symptoms and release them to create a healthier You.

Exercises and ‘homework’ offered at the end of a session are opportunities to self support and nurture yourself AND to help heal whatever is causing the imbalance. If you find that the tools you have gathered from these newsletters, sessions, classes or workshops are not helping it IS time to come in for a session so we can get to the REAL cause of what is going on at the time you created it, so you can get back into LIVING fully and easily.


If you are waking between 3 am and 5 am help you lungs to release old emotions and get back to sleep more quickly and easily by head holding and breathing…place one hand across your forehead and the other across the ‘bumpy’ bit in the middle of the back of your head . Then breathe in for 4, hold for 2, out for 4, hold for 2 for 9 repetitions.

If you are feeling emotional focus on letting it go and breathing it OUT: imagine you are breathing in a beautiful healing colour, and as you breathe out imagine you are breathing out a yukky colour of “stress”.

Gut problems, ‘tummy’ upsets, Constipation or diarrhea? After the first 9 reps of head holding and breathing remove the hand at the back of your head and place it just under your belly. Do another 9 reps with hand on your belly and the other on your forehead and notice calm take over. Remember to repeat 9 times!

First published at Deborah Beers’ Breathe Newsletter.

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